If we saw with our eyes and took it at face value we might see Reality. However, our perspective and experience shape our reality.

These might seem like conflicting statements, however, they are two sides to a coin. Life is lived through our experience of existing and making choices about our actions. Our reality is largely shaped by our thoughts and our past experience of what’s possible.

I once had a close friend who’s parents fought a lot when she was young. Her parents would scream and yell at each other; they would throw plates. My friend was scared and the image of her mom and dad fighting was deeply impressed on her. She did not want to be in a relationship like that.

Later in life, she found out what the fights were about. As a child, she did not know what they were fighting about. Seemed like they might be angry about the dishes, that’s what was getting thrown around. Later she found out that her father had cheated on her mother while her mother was suffering from Cancer.

She fell in love with a caring man that supported her and they made a family. They bought a house and made it home. They had a daughter and a cute dog. Then tragedy struck and she was diagnosed with cancer.

She went through years of treatments and several surgeries with her loving husband and daughter by her side they made it through together, although frequently she felt alone.

But life moves on. Soon they had a son on the way. This was her chance to dig in and be there for her new child in a way that she could not be before. With their daughter, she was working and now with the new post-cancer perspective, she wanted to be a stay at home mom for a while.

Her husband supported her while she took years off from work to live life more fully and explore her ability to be a writer and raise their children, things were great for a while.

After a few years, life settled down into a routine. Cancer was a memory and it hardly seemed real anymore looking back. The baby grew into a toddler and the toddler grew into a kindergartner. Life slowed down and sped up at the same time.

Cancer treatment creates psychologically tough times. The patient has gone through an experience that’s not common and extremely scary and scaring. It’s changed them and they did not ask for that change. It’s made them keep their guard up, and it’s hard to let that guard down again.

Frequently keeping your guard up for a long time will lead to you feeling like a prisoner. A prison that you may not realize is of your own making can be difficult to leave. It’s a prison with only three walls. The prisoner is constantly looking for the door to get out, but there is no door in the three bared walls. There is no fourth wall, and they can leave at any time, but they can’t see that way and don’t know they are already free.